JUST IN: True Life Story (Part 3)

The decision to move away from Lagos was very hard for me but I had no choice. People were irritated that it was even an issue for me. I mean, to everyone it was a no brainer. At work, my direct boss was sorry to see me leave and my department threw a huge going away dinner for me. Hubby stopped by to pick me up at the restaurant and my female co workers oohed and ahhed over him. I heard many a "she's so lucky! See her husband, fine boy!" from them. We got in the car and He remarked how nice it was for them to have the do for me, that he knew it was hard for me to go and start afresh in a foreign country but he would make it up to me, it was a great opportunity for us all, blah, blah... I just stared ahead in silence all the way home. M was on my mind. I played back the conversation we had when I told him about the move. "I'll miss you like mad but you can't not go, my darling. Don't worry we'll find a way to make this work". Please click to continue reading...

Hubby went ahead to start work while I packed up the house and our things. The day before the kids and I left, M and I spent the entire day together. At some point during the evening he said, "I have something for you..." I was like he shouldn't give me anything cos he' d been so generous sorting out a lot of things concerning the move for me. He had organized the shippers for me for some things we were taking and had pulled strings to get my kids' new Nigerian e-passports out when there was a delay. He insisted though, and handed me a small kente bag. "This is a keepsake of our 'firsts'. The bag is for you to remember our first kiss in Accra..." I looked inside it.

There were two laminated movie ticket stubs from 'jumper'. "That's from our first movie." my mouth was agape. "yes,I saved them. Like the guy in the movie, I'll be with you in a heartbeat when you need me...if you need me, which leads me to my next gift... Now this couldn't fit in the bag..." he brandished a new iPad. " I can't teleport but I can appear on Skype!" I burst out laughing. "You? On skype? That will be the day!" I had always teased him about men of his age not being tech savvy. " I don't have a choice. I have to learn. If not, who will pick out my ties and cuff links for me?" he shrugged. Hugging him tightly, i sighed to myself.Was I really going to leave all this behind? "Thank you..." " No, Thank YOU, my darling for everything, " he said and then we tumbled back into bed.

Settling down was hard for me. It was the middle of the school year so I busied myself with getting the kids into a private school paid for by hubby's office. Then I got down to furnishing the gigantic house, also courtesy of the office. Hubby was busy flying around, meeting people from the different field offices around the "geo zone" as they called it. I had no job, no friends; kids were busy at school, hubby at work. The one thing that kept me going was M. We skyped every single day, sometimes twice a day, the time difference was no issue. My birthday was a few months after we moved and I was so miserable because the kids were going to be away on a school trip and as usual hubby was out of town. To his credit though, he'd booked a spa day for me and arranged for me to be pampered silly. At every moment I wasn't covered in some goo or had my hands free, I'd check my phone. It was odd that I'd not heard from M apart from a bb message he had sent at midnight to wish me a happy birthday. 

Every time the red light blinked, i would extricate myself from my attendant's grip and check the new message. Still nothing. It was truly going to be a miserable day. I drove home in a daze, my body was refreshed but my mind was in turmoil. How could he do this? Especially after he knew I was already feeling bad about spending the day alone. Not even a phone call? As i pulled up into my driveway, my busybody neighbor ran out with the largest bouquet of multicolored roses I had ever seen. She said they were delivered while I was out and so she signed for them. She was hanging around to see me open the card but I thanked her and drove into the garage. No one needed to tell me who they were from. I knew! Multicolored roses were "our" thing. We called them m&m roses. I opened the card while i was still in the car. There was only one word in it... "dinner?" I looked around frantically half expecting to see M crouching in my garage. No. It couldn't be that he was here? In this city? If not, then dinner where? I Got my phone out and dialled shakily. No answer. Then sent a message thanking him and asking what the whole cryptic message was about. Several hours after I got a response. He WAS here! In a hotel in the next city, about 45 mins away. No need to tell you what I got up to that night. I'm sure your imaginations would serve you well. Let's just say I had a wonderful birthday.

Within a few months, hubby finished his period of orientation and was fully settled at work in our city. Like clockwork, he was home at 5:15 everyday which was a huge culture shock for me. Suddenly, he was available for the school run, attended sports meets and recitals, concerts and school bbqs. The silences grew between us. It was only then that I realized that in the last two years, our conversations had mostly been filled with playing catch up. Now he was home all the time, I didn't have much to say to him. He witnessed everything pretty much first hand. We would have dinner, the kids would go to bed, I'd catch up on my daily tv shows while he would be on the computer. He would get on the treadmill and work out in the basement while I skyped or talked with M from the privacy of the den. I would get into bed and squeeze my eyes shut before hubby came to bed, just in case he had any plans for you know what. He noticed the change and tried to bring it up. He felt I was cold because I was still resentful about having to quit my job and because I hadn't found a new one. I always shrugged and said I was ok, that it didn't have anything to do with him. He begged me to talk to him, to tell him what was going through my head. I just stared into space and mumbled something. 

Then one day we got a phone call. His best friend,best man at our wedding and all round 2nd in command had suffered a heart attack and died. Just like that. No warning. I thought of his wife. We had never really gotten along. She had always been standoffish. She clearly thought my hubby was a bad influence on hers and she never pretended to like him and by extension, me. However, my heart went out to her. He had just turned 40! That night, hubby cried like a baby. He was on a plane to Lagos two days later. He came back from the funeral with a broken spirit. I saw the headlights and opened the front door. The figure that was paying the airport limo driver seemed different. It looked like even his carriage had changed. He enveloped me in a bear hug,almost crushing me. He said, "we have to talk".

That night, we talked until daybreak. He told me how things had gone in Lagos. How sad it was to see someone who was like a brother to him be put into a casket. He said "the guys" went out the day of the funeral to "let off some steam" and all he was thinking was that they were insane. One of them had just been put into the ground and they were thinking of going out to drink. The week in Lagos was an eye opener for him. There was such vanity and dizzying levels of ridiculousness that appalled him. It was like he was an outsider. Then he talked about his friend's widow and her kids. How frail they looked. It was like he had an epiphany. My husband turned around to face me. He begged for my forgiveness for all the lies, the cheating, everything. He wept and promised me that going forward, there would be no more indiscretions. 

He was committed to me and our kids 100%. He handed me his blackberry and told me the password and the password to his email accounts. He said he wanted to start afresh. He wanted me to trust him. He wanted things to be back the way they were before. He knew I had withdrawn even before we moved here but it was far more glaring now we were together more often. I felt like a bucket of ice had been thrown over me. I was numb. These were words I'd been dying to hear for years. It should have been like music to my ears but all I could think about was M. What did this mean for us?

That morning, as hubby snored quietly in bed, I took off my m&m bracelet and put it into an old jewelry box. I got my phone out and deleted five numbers from it. I also deactivated my Skype account and threw away the iPad charger just for good measure. My husband had made some choices and I had decided to make some too.

Now, I'm not going to lie and say I regret my affair with M. I don't AT ALL. Not in the slightest bit. It took every single bit of willpower not to take his calls. I rejected all bb invitations and deleted all emails without even opening them. Some days I miss him like mad but I'm going to stick with the choice I have made. He has come into town several times and tried to get my attention. I was so tempted to go and see him. Just to explain what happened but I know if I went, I was doomed. Then I was scared he would show up on my doorstep. I got an email the day I decided to send this story in. In the subject line was, "please! Just talk to me. That's all I want!" I almost clicked on it but hit the delete option instead.

I will be in Lagos in a few weeks for my dad's 70th birthday. I know I will bump into M and I'm hoping I will not fall into temptation. I will let y'all know what happens ;)

JUST IN: True Life Story (Part 2)

Yayyyy we got the part 2 of ‘the true life story’ a reader sent in. Here goes;

So, where was I? Oh yeah, so after I got home from Accra, I was consumed by thoughts of getting it on with M. Now let's put things into perspective here. This was me, usually a goody two shoes, defender of all married women and sworn enemy of Lagos Jezebels, contemplating, no, FANTASIZING about hoping into bed with another man and a married one at that. What can I say? I don't know what came over me. Well actually I do. Plain ol' lust. No excuses, no sugar coating. Please click to continue reading…

So in the weeks that followed, M and I kept at it. Talking for hours, discussing politics, music, work, food and of course, our favourite topic, US. He finally got back from London and we met up at the Palms to catch 'Jumper' a movie we'd both been dying to see. We arrived early and got seats one in front of the other. I tell you, as the guy was teleporting from city to city, all I could think about was teleporting into a bed with M. He must have been thinking the same way cos sent me a message during the movie that read, " I can't concentrate on the movie. Let's get out of here. " I replied saying we'd draw attention to ourselves and should wait until the film was over. My phone lit up with a sad face and "ok, drive behind me when we leave". That evening, we ended up at some boutique hotel in VI extension. He went in, sent me the room number, I waited about 20 mins and went up to meet him. I thought it would be wild, tearing at each other's clothes kind of sex but it was slow and gentle. No fireworks, no crazy toe curling stuff. Just sex. I remember thinking to myself, "Shit! 

Am I really doing this?" don't get me wrong, it wasn't unpleasant but it wasn't what I'd imagined. Afterwards, we just lay there in each others arms talking. Before I knew it, it was getting dark and I had to head home. We hugged and he checked the hallway to make sure it was clear before I made my way out of the room. On the drive home, I tried to analyse my feelings. I felt nothing. No guilt, no excitement, nothing. It was puzzling. I was asleep by the time hubby got home from the "work thing" he'd gone for. No questions, no accusations, no queries.

M and I didn't have sex again for months but when I tell you the affair was still on, I mean it. We spent every free moment on the phone with each other. He'd "talk me home" as we called it everyday. Gisting for hours as I made my way home through the nasty VI traffic. M was the sweetest person in the world. My favorite piece of jewellery was a bracelet with colorful stones he'd bought me. He said they reminded him of m&ms, the candy and since both our first names began with M he'd asked for the bracelet to be made for me. As he put it, " Since you gesticulate a lot, everytime you talk, you'll catch a glimpse of it on your wrist and think of me." 

He knew everything about me and I about him. I was robbed on Falomo bridge one night as I drove myself home and he was the first person I thought to call. Even though he was headed in the opposite direction he got out of his car, crossed over the median and insisted on driving me home then took a cab from Ikoyi Hotel back to meet up with his driver. Before I knew it M had become a permanent fixture in my life. How were things with hubby? I hate to say it, but things were peachy. In fact, better than ever. I stopped nagging and playing amateur sleuth by checking his phone and his glove box to find out where he'd been and with whom. I actually welcomed him being away so I could have alone time with M who had become my best friend. Like I said, we didn't have sex again for ages but there was a bond between us that was unreal. We would consult each other on major decisions all the time, even on the most mundane of issues like what to wear to a function, what gifts to buy the celebrant etc. I guess the fact that hubby was away in PH a lot working on a project made it even easier to get further wrapped up in the relationship. I'd always thought all extra marital affairs were exciting, you know, like sampling a new exotic dish. This was like eating a plate of your grandma's jollof rice. It left me not with tingling taste buds but full up. You know, content...satisfied.

Things continued like this for almost two years. Yes, two years. Looking back, I don't know how I managed it. Compartmentalization, I guess. In one life I was a typical Lagos girl. Good wife, great teen church teaching mother (I don't know how God didn't strike me dead on the spot every Sunday) and on the side, a hardened adulteress with absolutely no conscience. When M and I would plan trips away, I had no qualms lying to hubby about where I was going. I usually hated travelling for work but began volunteering to take up assignments out of town just so M and I could be together where no one knew us and be uninhibited.

Things were soon about to change though, as hubby was promoted at work and that promotion came with much more money AND a move out of the country. It was the opportunity of a lifetime. The company hardly ever gave such appointments to Nigerians. Everyone was so pleased for us. Everyone of course, except me. The thought of moving away from M was gut wrenching. I used my job and the kids as an excuse. I was doing well at work, rising fast. The kids were settled in a new secondary school, doing well. It wouldn't be good to move them now. Hubby and I began to fight A LOT. My parents had to intervene and gave me a good talking to. Mum said "Abi there's another reason why you don't want to move?" Naturally, at this point I had to give in. But was that the end of M& M? Nope...

JUST IN: True Life Story

Dear Ladun,

I'm an avid follower of your blog and I'm sick of all the fake ass soppy stories of people seeking advice. I'm going to tell your readers MY story, not because I need any advice but because your blog has been dry of recent and I think it would make interesting reading. Please click to read this…

Anyway, I'm in my mid thirties, married and have kids. My husband and I have really good jobs and are quite successful. We had a great courtship, a real whirlwind romance. Our wedding was in many of the society pages of newspapers and magazines. Everyone said what a lovely couple we were. Life was good. I couldn't ask for more. We started having kids and it seemed our family was complete. What more could a woman ask for, right?

Wrong!

The problem is that hubby has always had a roving eye, even when we were dating. I'd found out he was cheating on me several times and we'd go through the whole begging, sending flowers, crying and kneeling down routine. I'd bone for a while, he'd send friends and even his parents to beg me and we'd get back together. I thought he'd change after we were married. Hmmm, big mistake. He continued to carry around all sorts of babes and kept begging after he was busted. Apart from the cheating, he was a wonderful husband, loving, romantic, generous, respectful. My family loved him to bits and quite frankly so did I. Though I was heartbroken about the affairs, I knew leaving him was not an option, even though I threatened him with that all the time.

Four years ago, I attended an industry dinner / concert and even though I was out alone, I soon began to have a good time cos I saw many old friends. The champagne kept flowing and then 2 face got on stage to perform. In all the frenzied dancing and jostling, I spilt champagne on an older gentleman that was beside me. 

I apologized profusely and he smiled and asked for my name, telling me not to worry about it. As I was leaving, he asked for my phone number. I told him I was married, flashed my ring and said I didn’t think it was a good idea. Smoothly, he joked about needing to know where to send his dry cleaning bill to. I laughed and collected his number, promising to pick up the tab then he offered to walk me to my car since it was late and the car park was deserted. He insisted, even when I said I'd call my driver to bring the car to the entrance. We had a nice time gisting before the driver came and he helped me into the car. I got home and didn't give him another thought...until the next day when I found some steamy text messages from some babe on hubby dearest's phone. Something inside me just snapped. I decided not to confront him as I usually would. I picked up my phone and called my knight in shining armor of the night before. I mean two could play this game.

He answered on the first ring and knew it was me just from saying "hello". I'd blocked my number and he went on to say he'd been praying I'd call since he didn't have my contact details. He said he usually didn't pick up unknown numbers but had a feeling it was me. We ended up taking for about two hours. It was great! He was funny and attentive and was intrigued by me cos I was acting all mysterious by blocking my number and not divulging my full name. 

The marathon telephone conversations continued and my phone bill skyrocketed as I was always the one calling. I really enjoyed playing this femme fatale role of being in charge and setting limits so even though he eventually knew my last name, he didn't have my number and always had to wait for me to call. Of course, being that we're both married, he couldn't go around asking people we knew in common for my number so he eventually gave me a cellphone with a contract line that he was paying for so he could reach me anytime. 

Initially there was no sex involved, just a helluva lot of flirting and sexual innuendo. I went away to Accra for work soon after and he surprised me by flying down to have dinner with me. He said I'd always said I'd never meet up with him for dinner in Lagos because it was such a small place and we were bound to be seen, so he decided to come to Accra! I was tripped! We had a lovely dinner and talked until the wee hours. M kissed me and went off to the airport. He had to be in London that evening. The kiss was everything I'd imagined it to be and soon I found myself fantasizing for the first time ever about having sex with someone other than my husband. The worst part? I didn't even feel guilty about it...and that, my dear LLB readers is how my affair with M started.

I'll give you the concluding part of my story in a few days...that's if you really want to hear it lol!

Ciao!

JUST IN: My Pain

Hmm for those people who think readers don’t actually send in mails, or I go to other places to copy them, na wa o. How can I go somewhere and copy a mail and call it ‘my own reader’s mail’? No way! Well, here is another one. Just the way she sent it in… please click to read…

Dear ladun, i'm a constant reader of ur blog. pls i have this question i've been longing to ask. i'm one of those" not so lucky women" that happen to be small chested, my bra size is 34A, i'm married tho buh dnt av a kid yet(waiting on God). The whole thing dawned on me as i became an adult, i feel so down whenever i go out because of my *flat chest* as a result i always wear a padded bra. it really gets very embarrassing atimes, espescially when i go out with my husband an he’s eyes and head are constantly turning to stare at other womens's boobs! gosh! you can imagine! even when we make love he carefully abandons my boobs u can imagine such humiliation*sobs*.>> i just dont get it. it hurts me real bad i dnt even know what to do again.. to save me the disgrace i hardly go out with my husband. he flirts with so many girls on fb, bbm, in the neighbourhood, church u jst name it.... i have a very loving personality ...pls i need advice as to how to deal with this. to boost myself esteem in the area of my*chest* and what to do when i go out on events with my hubby n he's eyes are everywhere spoting which boos is hot or not..... +are there women like me out here??? *I forgot to mention i'm beautiful too atleast i've won two beauty peagents*

 Thanks a lot pls i really need to hear people's views. thnks a bunch.

Reader's Mail: A Must Read

My name is Dayo. I’m a typical Nigerian guy and I cherish my Fridays a lot; I get to hang out with the sickest guys every Friday night and secondly, It’s another escape from my nagging and boring wife. I get confused sometimes on whether she’s my mother or my wife. Don’t get it twisted; I love her pieces. It just gets complicated; like I wish we never got married…marriag e has turned her into something that doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was still the adventurous, charming, high spirited lady I dated for five years.

A lot of people say its unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be too quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems; they just want to breathe, like me. Click to continue reading...

I forgot to say that I work in Guarantee Trust Bank along Lekki, I love my job and my job loves me, maybe its because I’m the senior banking officer. Lol. This particular morning, a lady breezed into my office. My heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn’t the typical slender Barbie, in fact, she was a bit chubby but her smile, cuteness and…I was tripped.

“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has swallowed my card!” She laughed, unlike a typical customer that would ram you.

I just tried to form Boss laughter…

“Good morning, You know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled

“GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my number so you could call me up or just text when its ready so I don’t come twice? Please? My name is Nancy” She blinked her eyes in a funny way.

“Sure” I smiled

We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday!

So it was 10:00pm and I headed to the club…as usual my friends were chilling for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I’m never home Friday nights.

“Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the ATM lady-Nancy.

“Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her but I was happy I didn’t have to wait till Monday to see her again.

“Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise, “Wanna dance?”

I didn’t even have the chance to answer, she already pulled me to dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me; she was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point we decided to go to a private area and we talked, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible, I certainly didn’t want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting…any guy would want to be with you all day” I said.

“I wasn’t always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad” she sang.

Then her phone rang…

“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private lounge, I’d like you to meet someone…alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual.

I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kisses her.

“You were late. Meet Dayo; I met him this morning, he’s helping with your ATM I told you got swallowed and Dayo this is my B to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every fortnight Friday; away from work, stress and kids.”

“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to shake him

Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.

“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband said

They have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating!

“Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th tomorrow. It would be an honor” She brought out an I.V from her purse.

I began to feel so ashamed of myself…this was another guy like me, getting it right with one woman.

I collected the I.V and promised to be there.

“See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat Kolade?” she talked and dragged her husband along.

They left and I kept staring at the thin air like I had seen a ghost. They come just to dance together every fortnight Fridays? Why didn’t I think of that! Temi loves to dance…she also likes long walks, she loves to talk…she loves jazz music, there’s this vivid picture I have of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary…I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my Ipad and I realized I had denied her of all…I had made her the old woman she acts.

What the hell was I doing here! I didn’t even tell my friends goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came through and I picked at first ring.

“Temi?” My heart raced

“I know you are not coming home…”

“I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her.

“Are you alright?” She was shocked I suppose

“And I’d like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to meet this amazing couple”

“You sound different Dayo”

“Maybe I’m different”

“Don’t say it! don’t say it! when you come we will gist very well” she laughed

She laughed!!! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago…

Dear reader,

I wrote this natural piece just to remind us that creating memorable moments with our partner matters. Do you know that little things are the sweetest things? Just creating time to gist and laugh with your partner, having a day in the week that’s exclusively for you both-No friends or kids allowed.

Lady, when last have you told your partner he is so darn hot? Guy! When last have you told your lady she is the sweetest thing? When last have you whispered ‘Thank you’? When last have you been quick to say ‘I’m sorry’?

Do you even have a clue on what your partner loves to do?

When you ignore little things, they are the little pieces of rocks that build up to become a mountain you can’t easily break down.

Pay attention to little things, believe that they work and experience new bliss!

JUST IN: Help a soul

I'm Amaka, I met my husband 8 years ago at age 22, he was 46yrs old then. Though he was married, his first wife left him in 2002 after 14yrs of marriage without any issue.

I got married and packed into his duplex located at Ajah. After our marriage, I got pregnant and had twins (2boys). My husband was very happy. 3 years later, I had another set of twin boys. He could not contain his excitement, he told me, "IFEYINWA TNK U FOR SHOWING D WORLD THAT I AM A MAN, I WIL LUV U TILL I DIE" and I replied, "I WIL LUV UTOO TIL DEATH DO US PART'. Click to continue reading….

He later opened a big supermarket for me at lekki. I was devoted and dedicated to my home, we were living in peace until 2 years ago when CHIOMA the first wife came back, I welcomed her and even asked my husband to forgive her. Within 6months our peaceful house turned to something else. CHIOMA's behaviour changed towards me, she started calling me a prostitute, husband snatcher and other unprintable names.

That same month our husband FRANK became sick and his blood pressure became high. CHIOMA started making life unbearable for me, she insisted the house was FRANK and hers. He told my husband to rent another house for us but he refused.

In 2011, FRANK lost all he had cos his business partner ran away with all his money, I took over the expenses in the house, he was grateful and he told me, 'IFEYINWA DO U KNOW YOU ARE DIFFERENT FROM OTHER WOMEN, DESPITE MY FINANCIAL STATUS AND AGE GAP U STIL STOOD BY ME. I WILL ALWAYS LUV U" and I told him I would love him for better for worse.

But Chioma wouldn't care. She was never happy with me and my children, she said the house was built when she was living with him then dat i should go with my bastard children. I am 30yrs now, she is 47 while Frank is 54yrs. I gave Frank N3million to start another business and told him of my plans to rent a house so peace would reign but he refused, he started crying like baby. The next day his BP raised to 320. Everything got so bad, Chioma would threaten to stab me at any slightest provocation. We do the same business but she's not happy about my progress cos I'm miles ahead of her. She has never for one day bought anything in the house, 

I've been footing the bills.

I went to meet my Pastor and he advised me to quit the marriage because Frank belongs to Chioma.

My Question is...

What will happen to Frank, my 4boys and i? How will i break dis news to him? I love him so much but what about his condition? Chioma hates my children and she wants Frank to sell the duplex.

Pls advise me, what is my fate? What do I do?

JUST IN: Who Is A 'Big Girl'?

My dear Ladun

I love love love your blog.

Please help me publish this as Anon. I don't want my details disclosed.

Thanks. Oya click to read... plus i can't wait to know the real meaning of a big girl too...

 Dear LLBers

I am a successful single girl in my mid thirties and I live in Los Angeles California. I am currently in Lagos Nigeria on business, I import container load of items for sale in Nigeria. Being a single girl who's still on the shelf everyone around me is looking out for me so that I get picked before my expiry date.

 My good friend who is married in Atlanta called me whilst I was in Nigeria, that she wanted to hook me up with some guy in Lagos. I was excited, she said the guy was divorced with kids but looking to start afresh, and I didn't mind. She did the intro and the next thing my phone was ringing.

The guy was born and breed Lagosian MD of a non-bank Financial Institution. He called, we chit chatted and he said he was about to get into his car and so we had to round up quickly as he did not like to talk in the car with his driver listening (that was a red flag for me). He said he wanted to see me immediately, I was a bit reluctant but he insisted and wanted to know where I was. I told him I was staying in a hotel in Lekki and gave him the details and he made his way.

He came I met him at the reception and we went to the bar. I told him I was on my way out but had to wait to see him, we talked but he seemed to ask a lot of questions like: How did I get money to go into my business, why am I staying in a hotel and then the one I need your help with is, he asked if I was "A Big Girl" ie "Are you a Big Girl?". He left after about 15mins and I never heard from him again.

 Please can someone tell me what "A big girl is"??? 

 Lots of Love

 One of you!