READERS MAIL: What if my man can't satisfy me in bed after marriage

Hi Ladun, I am a regular LLB reader. Please I need to get your readers advice concerning this. I got dis-virgined some years back and I have had sex with a couple of guys. But now I have re-dedicated my life to Christ and promised God I would never have sex again until I get married. Though it has really been difficult but I have gone a year without sex now.

Now reading all your readers mails I am scared. What if I finally meet someone and after getting married to him he can’t satisfy me in bed.

I need to know how I can avoid this problem without having sex now. I am in real need of your advice LLB readers. Help a friend please. Thanks.

Readers Mail: Help I Am HIV Positive

Dear Ladun,

I have been in just two relationships my entire life the first which I dated for 2years and the second am still dating in 6years. I discovered in 2009 that I was HIV+ I didn't say anything to my partner because I was sure he had it too I just wanted him to find out for himself and we've been sexually active since I tested +. Click to continue...

This year he went for a test and he was HIV- in a reputable hospital that I couldn't doubt the results. I was surprised, I went for my test again same HIV+. Am just shocked and confused I have never been promiscuous EVER! I've never cheated on him I don't even understand how am + at all. Only my best friend is aware of my situation. And recently my ex of 2years tested HIV- too. I have never slept with anybody apart from these two guys. My best friend says it’s spiritual.

I don't know what to do am avoiding sex with my partner because now I know he's negative I don't want him to contact it from me, I told him let's be celibate(NO SEX) until we get married next year. He loves me so much and trusts me too he even didn't ask me to go for a test after he was tested HIV- he just told me "as long as am negative you are negative no need to get a test"

This is my situation

1) I can't marry Him (I can't deliberately do that to him)

2) I can't bring myself to tell him (am afraid of rejection! It would crush me if he ever left me because of that)

3) If I break up with him he would want to know why and will NEVER let me go until I give him a concrete reason WHY! (I tried doing that when he just tested HIV-, he just laughed and said I was joking).

Please what do I do? I need advise. Thank you.

Was I Wrong to Have Relaxed My Daughter’s Hair?

Hahaha this is from one of you. And ofcus she is a regular commenter. She’s got something to share with you guys as well. Btw, this is ‘ojoro’ cus I still have two readers mail hanging. But because its janded, one of us I decided to post hers first, lol. Sorry if the reader’s mail are getting too much. People get to read them, and remember you guys when they have one or two questions to ask, I guess that’s why they send them in. Do bear with them. Oya click to see what janded has to say. Btw, she is a blogger too.

Dear fellow LLB readers,

I go by Janded in the blogosphere and I have learnt a lot while being entertained on Ladun's blog. Here is a non sexual/cheating issue that I want you guys to weigh in on. I have a six years old daughter and I have been relaxing her hair for 2 years. I chose to relax her hair because it was unmanageable and she was always in pain when I styled it. Her hair is beautiful (if I may say so myself), as long as that of the cutie on this post and "healthy" for relaxed hair. 

Most of you are aware that in recent times more black women are chopping of their relaxed hair and choosing to go natural. I am one of such women. I made my decision because my hair was severely unhealthy and damaged. My dilemma is, I now regret relaxing my little girl's hair and am seriously considering transitioning her to natural hair. In retrospect, I do not want her to suffer from all the negative effects that relaxing could cause. Problem is, she loves her hair(and the attentions she gets from people because of it). She is such a girly girl and I am afraid she would be too distraught if I chop off her mane. Has anyone of you had a similar experience? I really need candid opinions.

Reader's Mail...

Hello Ladun,

Please I need suggestions from LLB readers on this issue that has been bothering me for a while. I will try and keep this email short.

My name is Zainab but you can call me Zee. I am dating a very nice guy, (Mofe) 4 years older than me. I am 28 years old.  We were friends and knew each other for a period of time before deciding to become lovers. I moved from Abuja to be with him in Lagos and he got me a well paying job in a top business firm on the Island. He later proposed to me earlier this year and I accepted because I love him and he is a good man. Click to continue.

Now my problem is this, the SEX!! Since we started being intimate and having sex, I have NEVER had an orgasm with him during penetration! He has never been able to make me climax with his penis. He keeps thrusting for more 30 minutes and I just want him to get it over already and let me sleep. I have talked to him about it, and he even asks me after he ejaculates, if I came. I always say "almost did."

I am a VERY physical and sexual person, and I request sex twice a day (not mandatory..lol). But I get horny A LOT! Sometimes he tells me he is not in the mood to go again. I know he cares about making me feel good and satisfy me, because anytime I tell him what direction/position I want, he listens and obeys. But I still can’t climax. Am I the only woman in this?? I do love it though when he uses his fingers, I actually climax if it's his fingers but not his penis! And no his penis is not small or big. It is moderate and okay for me, I don't like huge tools that rip me open abeg...lol.

Mofe has some weight on him and a bit of what we call "pot belly." And sometimes that gets in the way, especially when I want to do it sitting down. His belly covers the tool so we always end up lying down. How do I tell him all this without bruising his ego?

I have been thinking if this how sex will be for the rest of my life? I want to know if I'm the only lady that can't have an orgasm?? Am I sick and lone in this?

Thank you

READERS MAIL: Help! He is a 5secs man

Ladun please post this as you might just be helping me save my future.  My name is Tayo. I'm 25 and might be getting married in December, if only I will say yes to my man.

He's 31 by the way, but I told him I was going to think about it. To cut the story short, I'm really scared of getting married to him because I wouldn't want to cheat on my husband. Please click to read more...

This guy is not even a one minute man when it comes to sex. He is a 5 seconds person. I've complained severally and he has tried to take all kinds of drugs to make him last but they don't work.

Whenever we are ready to get down and he is inside me, he just thrusts for 5secs and that's it and then he leaves me wanting and he can't go a second round because his body can't do it. There was a time I was so horny I had to go meet my ex and yes he made me feel like a woman. But with my soon to be hubby I don't feel that way.

 He does not smooch me, he just goes straight in and then everything is over in a blink. I'm just frustrated and I need advice because he has tried basically every solution including Viagra, but the after effect was bad.

How can I be a faithful wife when I get married to this guy when he can't even satisfy my urge? He can’t even suck me. How do you think I can be faithful?