Showing posts with label readers mail on ladunliadi's blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label readers mail on ladunliadi's blog. Show all posts

Friday, September 14, 2012

Readers Mail...

I just got off the phone with my husband and out of frustration I just need to vent on LLB. I just need to know if other women have this same issue with their husbands/ boyfriends. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have children together but the dude is always rushing me off the phone and it is so annoying. Please click to continue.

I keep saying to myself, I wouldn’t call him for a week just to see if he will look for me or not but I have never actually got round to doing that because there is always something to talk to him about such as I am doing the grocery shopping is there anything out of the normal shopping list you would like or talk about picking the children from school, or just general gisting with him etc. we do gist but it’s always rushed.

When I do ask him why are you always rushing me off the phone, he says because I am working and I respond but I am at work too and I still call you or he responds that I am busy ( that could be true or that could be that he just watching Fringe or so on TV.

No, I do not think he is cheating well at least I am 90% sure he is not. Trust me I do some serious inspector gadget stuff that he is unaware off and before you guys says “well if u have to spy that means there’s no trust blah blah blah” well, it doesn’t mean there’s no trust. It just means I am not naïve.

He has told before I do nag a lot and yes I agree. The first step to recovery is admitting and taking responsibility, right?

Anyway just wanted to know how other wives deal with this “ I am busy please call me later” responds from Husbands/ boyfriends.







 

Monday, September 10, 2012

READERS MAIL: My story for you to share


I am not looking for advice as the matter is already sorted. I just thought to share my story.

I am a 32 year old Igbo man living in the UK and dating a Canadian Caucasian with hopes to marry one day. She moved to the UK to be with me and we have been living in sin for about 5 years now my family love her and vice versa but the truth is I can’t marry her. The cultural difference is too much. Click to continue…


After she finally realised this, she moved back home and I went after her In hindsight I am not completely sure why I did but yet I found myself begging her back.

She agreed, and yes I was unfaithful a few times with her and we did get into a lot of fights when I got really angry one day. She called the police and now she is suing me for harassing her and abusing her.

I am to be in court in a few weeks and scared of the outcome.

Part 2 will follow after my court case.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Reader's Mail...


My name is Ayo. I am in my late 20’s. I have been married for 3 years. Okay let me start over again, I am writing this story because I want girls to read and learn from my experience.


I dated Alhaji for a while, not minding the fact that he has three wives. I was only interested in getting married, and it didn’t really matter who, as long as he had money, and I could be tagged a Lagos big girl. I eventually got married to alhaji, and he promised to buy me a house, car, and startup a business for me.
I got pregnant almost immediately and moved to one of his houses. Please click to continue...
I thought alhaji would buy me a car immediately since I was carrying his baby but he always asked his driver to take me wherever I wanted.  Is excuse was that he did not want me to drive around because of my condition.

I later mentioned it to him and he told me he was going to get it once I had my baby.
Three months after my baby was born, I raised the issue of starting my business and getting my car again, and he just waved it up.

After six months I couldn’t take it again because alhaji started giving me just 25k monthly for upkeep and I had to do something. So I called one of my ex-aristos and told him my predicament. He was kind enough to give me 500k I added 200k I had to it and started my business.

Alhaji asked me where I got the money from I told him it was my savings. After a while he gave me a 2-door golf car, and I was disappointed because his wives drives jeeps but alhaji would not hear of it, he said that’s what he had for me so I took it.

When the shame became too much I started sleeping with aristos again secretly and I am living better now. I went to my family to tell them I want tot leave alhaji, but they disagreed because they all opposed my marriage at first and they all insist I must continue.

I am already making plans I have to leave alhaji next year I can’t continue to suffer. I don’t care what you guys think or say about me, I just want ladies like me to read and learn that “All that glitters is not gold”.

I married him for MONEY but after marriage everything stopped. He became a new man. 3 years of marriage and nothing to show for it.

Friday, August 31, 2012

READERS MAIL: How Men Drug And Abuse Ladies (A Must Read)


I apologise for the last reader’s mail. I promise I won’t post such again.

Hi, Ladun

I am Ify, a girl like you who also has fears, beliefs, reservations and just your regular typical Nigerian girl. This past few weeks has been one hell of a game for me. I have really been unsettled and I thought I share this story with you. When Cynthia (the lady killed in the hotel room in Festac) surfaced the internet and various new media, I was scared and it brought back a whole lot of memories to me and also served as an eye opener. Many people castigated and criticized Cynthia (may her gentle soul rest in peace). But my point is, it could be any body, anybody at all. We have met people through various social media, some have ended up well, and some have not with painful memories. To cut the long story short, let me kindly share with you my encounter with social media especially the very popular Blackberry Messenger BBM.  Click to continue reading…


I am a graduate and currently serving in Kaduna, I could have runced it, but I needed somewhere to clear my head and forget about my ugly encounter.

Here is my story, I happened to have a married man as contact on my BBM. He had been asking me out for over six months and I refused to date him. As time went on, he invited me clubbing when his wife was outside the country. I went with him all night. We spent most of the night at a popular club on the Island. I also met his click of friends, married as well. Majority of them married with their various mistresses and we had mad fun. After all the clubbing and drinking, he lodged me in a hotel somewhere at obalende, I felt kindda safe with him. We did not have sex. He touched me in places I had never ever imagined, he kissed me so passionately but guess what? He did not have sex with me. We did all sorts but there was no penetration, so to an extent I trusted he was a good person to be around. I did not know that it was all part of the plan, he gave me N10,000 and put me in a cab to go home the next morning,

 We kept talking and chatting and sending naked pictures to each other and he told me nutty things how he wanted to whisper things in my ear, I blushed. We didn't see for two weeks and that is because of his wife just came back from Turkey. One faithful evening, he pinged me that he was organising a beach party/boat cruise and he would love for me to be his date. He also told me that he wanted to open a BBM chat, as a medium for his friends and my friends to interact. I was excited; I just wanted to have fun. I was able to get five of my very hot friends. The BBM group opened and we got chatting. I also realised that majority of them were married and working in reputable firm. It was fun; we didn't mind if they were married, we just wanted to have fun, as well as some other girls apart from my friends in the group. We chatted exclusively, sent pictures to the BBM group to introduce ourselves, and we had opened group conversations pending the beach party, and as excited as we were we went shopping for nice sexy beach wears.

The D-day finally arrived. We all assembled at the boat club. I was wowed; this was a high class party. We were cruising in a boat loaded with goodies. Drinks and hot babes and as well "MARRIED MEN".I did not care, I just said in my mind that I would not roll with married men anymore after this. But for now all I wanted to do was catch some fun after all, I aint paying bills. It was a private beach resort. Most of the beach facilities I got to know where owned by multinational companies. We got out of the boat, and went to where we were partying. It was a duplex made outta wood very nice setting, I felt comfortable because it even had a fence around it, separating it from other beach house around, so there was privacy and of course bouncers (heavy looking guys) guarding the place. I said to myself, this must be heaven am I dreaming. Anyways, we felt free with each other because we had been chatting, it was 5:30pm and the party just started.

We had drinks flowing from the private bar tender which happens to be one of the men in the group. Reality struck when I realised I was feeling dizzy and feeling really funny and light headed, not only me but other girls around me. There was something strange about it. I was also feeling HORNY as hell! I had been drugged. They monitored us and when they knew the drug had really gone dip in our system, they moved us up into the main beach house. I could still see face but was too weak and horny to react. Mr B, the man who took me clubbing carried me in his hands like a sacrifice. He put me down on the floor and other men also carried each girl to themselves. We were eight in number. 8 girls and 8 guys and they all stripped us down and had sex with us. I enjoyed it a bit cos I was horny. It was mixed feeling because I cried, I moaned, I do not know how many times he came into me, he pounded me hard, I was dizzy he grabbed me with force, all I could notice was the wedding ring on his hand. How wicked and miserable married me can be. How inhuman and heartless. All of them took turns in switching partners and slept with all of us. I passed out, that is the last thing I could remember. I felt water poured on me. I noticed all the other girls around me too were half naked and some totally naked. We spent the night at the beach; the men were nowhere to be found. I looked around me all I saw was packs of used condoms and I ran to pick my clothes and possibly raise an alarm. I got dressed, found my phone with and envelope, it contained N16,000 and a note asking us to take N2000 each for transport. 

Tears of anger and rage filled my eyes and the girls around me as well. We were drugged and used like tissue paper. I grabbed my phone and noticed a ping came in. I checked my fone, I noticed the group had been deleted, and a message via BBM from MR B came in. He threatened me that if I say a word to anyone I would regret it. I told him he was a bastard, and he said try it. A picture came in, several pictures of us naked on the floor. Pictures of them humiliating us but they blurred the faces of the men. In total I got 20 pictures. I was not myself for a month. I went back to school, I had no one to talk to, and the rest of the semester was hell for me. My CGPA dropped drastically. It was the worst out of the worst result I have ever had. Till today I and my friends have not discussed this with anyone. But all I could do when I heard Cynthias story was to narrate my own ordeal anonymously and spread the news, spread the words, and pray they see it and changed their ways. I am now born again. I have given my life to Christ. I fear men so much I cannot even move close to them. I still have night mares, but with time God will strengthen me and I will move on. My advice to single ladies out there, do not be desperate for fun, pray to God to open your eyes of understanding. Pray hard. He who kneels before God, will stand before kings and queens, to all married women, pray hard for God to intervene in your marriages and turn your husbands from bad habits and bad friends. As for me, I do not think I ever want to get married or date again. That chapter has been closed for good in my life.

Dear Ladun, please do not ignore my mail. Please post it. There are a lot of things we ladies need to learn including you. Please post it on your blog and save a soul. It could be your friend, sister, cousin, and neighbour. God bless you as you pass it on. To all readers, I do not care if you insult me or rain abuses at me; my job is to share this encounter with you and save you from any mishap. God bless you all.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Let's Help Save a Soul


I asked myself if posting this was right. Some people might condemn this and say this is a wrong message the writer or myself are trying to pass across. But then someone might just need this, so I will post it just because of that one person. If this doesn’t concern you just move ahead please, it’s better for a woman to leave an abusive marriage than die in it. There is no remedy after death.
Make I no lie, I know we have women here who are enjoying their marriages to the fullest. May be you didn’t believe your marriage can turn out this good, and it has turned out fantastic. Why don’t you share your story? Help save a marriage today biko.  Please this is a special request. We are begging. Thank you. 

Click to read what she said; in fact I am posting all she wrote in the mail so you can understand…


Hi Ladun.
Pls in respect to the ksolo/wife story I have read about everywhere, I remembered this fiction piece I wrote a while ago. For all women who remain in abusive relationships.

Could you please share it and help save some lives.
Thanks.

…and the push turns to a shove, she falls to the ground, yea he feels better now, he feels like a man…. Enduring the pain she feels, she goes into their room, tucks them into their bed and wants to say goodnight, and they ask, ‘mom, why can’t you leave?’ And she replies ‘He is a good man. He loves us all. He is just sad’….. And as she takes out the trash the next day, the neighbours see the bruises and the swollen eyes, and whisper among themselves, ‘why can’t she leave?’, and she hears these whispers and even though she should ignore them, she finds herself saying out to them, ‘I can hear you, He is a good man, he loves us all, he is just sad, and I cannot leave because of my children. They need their dad.’…..
And that night, he came home, ‘sad’ again, and face down, he pummelled her again…but this time, she was weak, her body couldn’t take it, she lay helplessly on the floor, not making a sound, and seeing how weak she was, he took her to bed, saying how sorry he was…….
…and the day after that, still weak, she went to the market, to buy things to make food for the kids she so cared for, and the dad they needed, who loved them all….and she was really weak….and she fell down…and she did not stand again..and the doctor said,’she was weak, and her heart was not strong anymore, she just gave up’…..
And they cried, he cried the most. He must have loved her truly, and he definitely loved his children the most, because two weeks later, he brought home to them, another mother……